THE EXPENDABLES 2 - Review

The Expendables 2 rises above and beyond it's predecessor in almost every way. I admit that's not saying a whole lot, but it's true. First off, the gang spends pretty much the whole movie on their mission, so things like “character development” and “plot” get either thrown right out or breezed over. I know that usually sounds like a bad thing, but not this time.

To be honest, I feel like those two things are what bogged the first film down because none of it really paid off. It was called The Expendables, but not a single character lived up to that dark promise; that's not to say I was rooting for these characters to bite it, but it was seemingly what the movie was headed toward and might have given the film more meaning if in fact ONE character actually died. With the sequel, however, “meaning” gets punched right in it's stupid face faster than you can say “oh look, the movie is starting!”

The plot this time out is stupid simple. Jean-Claude Van Damme plays the villain, Vilain (yup) and is after plutonium, and Sylvester Stallone and crew need to stop Van Damme before he gets it. There's also a side plot thrown in about our heroes having to save some villagers that Vilain is forcing into a mine to get said plutonium, but that stuff is really only there so the film can be feature-length.

Even though Chuck Norris, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis have pretty small roles, when they are on screen I couldn't help but smile. Willis and Schwarzenegger especially were a ball to watch killing the shit out of people together and I hope they have much larger roles in the next one. But the real treat here is Van Damme, having the most fun I think I've ever seen him have. And man, oh man, it was worth waiting this long to see Stallone and Van Damme finally kick each other's ass.

The one liners, and frankly, most of the dialogue is clunky and stupid, but with the exception of Willis, these guys can barely talk anyway so it really isn't that distracting. While there are a few surprising laughs in the film, most of the time these guys are referencing each others movies in the most ham-fisted way possible and it gets old. Everyone is having a good time here, though, and playing off each other surprisingly well.

Pretty much every ten seconds, somebody is shooting something. I gotta take a moment here and really hand it to Stallone, because that man does NOT give one damn that bullets don't actually make people explode. The action scenes are fast and brutal and most of all, FUN! Especially in the ridiculous, blood soaked finale that unites all the heroes against some really unfortunate goons. Honestly, I feel silly having written so much about this film already because all I need to say that while the film is a complete and utter mess, I haven't had this much fun shutting off my brain and watching such lavish violence in quite some time.